From Conflict to Collaboration

By Beth Porter, Four Corners Broadcasting

Conflict in the workplace. For many of us, just the phrase gives us the heebie-jeebies! The leader who expects the team to just work it out or get over it and get back to work is just passing the buck. Then that leader may very well find themselves butting heads with someone else. Conflict management is an incredibly useful leadership skill to achieve the holy grail, productive teamwork!

It’s another of those power skills whose value to the organization is getting more recognition and more weight, especially as the term “toxic working conditions” gets thrown around more and more often. “Toxicity” is oftentimes the result of conflict and once the conflict is identified, parties can work to resolve it.

There are several common scenarios where conflict arises:

• Misunderstandings or poor communication skills
• Differing opinions, viewpoints, or personalities
• Biases or stereotypes
• Variations in learning or processing styles
• Perceptions of unfairness
  

The irony is, teams made up of diverse skills and viewpoints are often the most innovative. Another reason why conflict management is an important tool for a leader.

There are several strategies for resolving conflict, though many are not productive when the stakes are high.

Avoidance: this tactic does nothing to resolve the conflict or increase teamwork.

Asserting dominance: in an emergency and a void of leadership, someone asserting their leadership may be crucial. But to build a stable team, fostering a culture of competition tends to create ill will, again eroding teamwork.

Acquiescing: this strategy may keep the peace in the moment, however the person acquiescing may be left feeling less valued. Furthermore, the right solution may be left unspoken by someone who doesn’t want to rock the boat.

Compromising: this one’s getting closer, though the disagreeing parties must both give something up. That’s why it’s known as a “lose-lose” strategy. However, if you apply big-picture thinking, swallowing your pride means you and the other person value the relationship and will make sacrifices to reach a mutually beneficial resolution.

Collaborating: now we’re starting to cook up a win-win scenario! When you collaborate, all parties work together to find a solution that fulfills everyone’s goals! It allows you to harness the power of diverse skill sets and outlooks. Team members feel valued, which in turn can translate to loyalty. Improved, open communication leads to more efficient and effective meetings.

How to get from conflict to collaboration

1. Talk with the other person. Avoid the trap of trying to correct the behavior of one person by imposing new burdens on the entire group. For instance, if someone on your team is habitually late, talk with that person specifically rather than installing a time clock that everyone must now use.
2. Focus on specific behavior and events, not on personalities. ...
3. Listen carefully
    • Listen to what the other person is saying instead of getting ready to react.
   • Avoid interrupting the other person.
   • After the other person finishes speaking, rephrase what was said to make sure you understand it.
   • Ask questions to clarify your understanding.
4. Identify points of agreement and disagreement ...
    • Summarize the areas of agreement and disagreement.
   • Ask the other person if they agree with your assessment.
   • Modify your assessment until you both agree on the areas of conflict.
5. Discuss which areas of conflict are most important to all parties. 
6. Develop a plan to work on each conflict.
    • Start with the most important conflict.
   • Focus on the future.
   • Set up future meetings to continue to discuss.
7. Follow through on your plan and continue discussions to work through each area of conflict. ... 
8. Build on your success.
    • Look for opportunities to point out progress.
   • Compliment the other person's insights and achievements.
   • Congratulate each other when you make progress, even if it's just a small step.

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The pay-off for all this hard work? Working through the conflicts should eventually give way to ongoing, friendly communication, hopefully developing mutual respect for each other and an appreciation for a different viewpoint.  All of that will lead to a much more collaborative atmosphere for a dynamic team!

Looking for an immersive experience in leadership development or to develop leadership skills for a team member? Consider Leadership La Plata, an excellent local resource. Check out www.LeadershipLaPlata.org for more information.

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Beth Porter is the Senior Marketing Consultant with Four Corners Broadcasting and an alumni of Leadership La Plata Class of 2015-2016.